Fisticuffs

Today has been one of those days where I swear the world is against me. Nothing about this day has been good. Tonight, my friends have all gone to see Boyce Avenue in Bristol, I didn't have money for a ticket and by the time I did there was no space in the car. This Friday is the Sixth Form Summer Party which I can't go to due to work. People keep asking what I'm wearing and it just gets so annoying when you keep having to tell people that no, you will not be there.
      Next Wednesday is my best friend's birthday and she told me that she'd be having a party on the Saturday, so I was dead excited because I was going to make her an awesome birthday cake in the day and then take it over for her in the night. But now my other friend is working on the Saturday so she's switched it to the Friday....and I'm working that day. I could go over in the night but I finish at 10pm and I have work experience in the day too, meaning I'll be working 12 hours in total, then going to a party where everyone else will already be drunk and I'll just be knackered. I don't want to be annoying and tired when I get there so I'm not going. I'm actually really upset about it, but there we are, shit happens. She's asked me to go out to dinner on the Wednesday instead which I guess is okay.
      And now I feel sick, my head hurts and I actually feel like crying, which is quite unusual for me seeing as I usually go in a rage. I hate wanting to cry because I feel stupid. My mother keeps telling me that there's no need to worry or get upset but I can't help it. I want to be there with my friend for her 17th birthday party and I can't. And it sucks.

Smooth Criminal

Today has been an incredible day, spent visiting Sussex University with my 3 best friends - Ashleigh, Catherine and Leah. The sun was shining and good times were had by all. Although I don't think Sussex is going to the university I end up at due to my lack of interest for their English course, it is a stunning campus and Brighton is such a gorgeous place!
            The downside of today was the fact that I realised that my future is really just around the corner. In just over a year I'll be (hopefully) moving into my chosen university and I'll be meeting a load of new friends and settling into most probably alien city. And I genuinely do not know if I'm at all ready for that. I'm not prepared for change. I'm not prepared to move out and say goodbye to all the people who've surrounded me for the past 17 years of my life. In the coming months, I have to make so many decisions that will determine the rest of my life. It took me about 15 minutes this morning to decide what to buy for my breakfast in a service station Marks & Spencer. I'm not ready for this.
            The majority of my friends seem to have made some basic decisions, whereas I still don't know if I even want to do Joint Honours English and History or just stick with straight English. Do I even want to do History? What about Spanish? I don't know whether I'm going to be able to cope with moving far away or if I'll feel too close if I stay relatively close to home. Am I going to be able to afford en-suite student accommodation or will I need to share a bathroom? Will I be applying to Oxford/Cambridge purely because the school has asked me, or because I know that I'd be stupid to turn down an offer from them? I have no idea to any of these questions and it has me stuck in such a rut that I don't know what the hell I'm going to do.
            So these are my dilemmas. Other dilemmas include:

• There were loads of gorgeous boys in Brighton today and it made me upset.
• I've fallen in love with Zac Efron all over again.
• I can't decide whether my feet are numb or just cold.
• I'm really tired but I have no urge to sleep.

            As you can see these are not really dilemmas as such. Just me over-reacting due to being awake for 20 hours now. The Zac Efron one is a real dilemma mind. How can one person embody so much hotness? And why must he be a) eight years older and b) in America?

            I hope you've enjoyed this post. I'm sorry if the writing is rubbish but I was up at 4:30am and I should be sleeping now, but sleep is for the weak and I am a strong independent woman.

            Okay, I'll sleep now.

xxx

Out On The Town

I've been struggling for a while to find a theme that I can use for this blog. I'd like to think that I'd be able to do something fashion inspired, yet I'm not fashionable and I have no money to buy things to show you guys.
   My second idea is that I just become some sort of moaning teenager who complains about the workload I get at school and how my parents totally don't understand me. But my parents do understand me, we get on quite well, plus my school work has now decreased seeing as it's come to the end of the year.
   So what the hell am I going to do?
   My only other plan really is that I make a bunch of posts like these. Ones where I ponder the meaning of life, if I drink too much coffee and how long will it take for my mother to discover that I've stolen her denim jacket...?
   I'll tell you guys what's going on in my life. Where the parties are at, how my love-life is going (hah) and what incredibly amazing awesome things happen to me. Those kinds of posts may be few and far between seeing as I'm not really one who gets incredibly amazing awesome things happening to me. I guess you can expect more along the lines of "I really want a cat," or, "I just had my dinner." Although, I promise I'll try and make my posts a bit more interesting, in depth with just a dash of wit*.
   I hope you keep reading and I hope I get some more readers too! Which reminds me, I need some more blogs to follow. Anything really, fashion, lifestyle, cookery. I like lots of things.
 Ffion xxx

*I don't actually have that much wit either

These are the shoes that I am desperate to save up for. They're a bit different and I really think that they'd spice up my outfits! Still not decided if I want these leopard ones (the pattern looks a bit too fake I think) or just plain black ones. It doesn't really matter though, seeing as I don't have the money to buy them yet and it doesn't look like I will any time in the near future either!
 

I Feel Like Dancin'

These are my new babies, handed to me by my mother who ordered them for herself. Luckily for me, they were too big for her, so now they're mine! They're from BHS (somewhere I normally try to keep my distance from after a horrific day being barged into by old ladies and trollies) and were in the sale, so I'm not sure how much my mother actually had them for! They're a much brighter green colour in person, my webcam doesn't really do them any justice, with a gold chain on the front.

My webcam really isn't doing them any justice, but believe me, they are lovely jubbly.

Emotional wreck

Alright, no, I haven't had some sort of trauma in my life. I am simply an emotional wreck after being too-involved in a fictional book. I am a complete and utter sucker for romantic literature and I almost always spiral into some sort of post-novel depression where nobody is good enough, I will never find love and I am almost certain to live my life alone (apart from my cats, of course).
    Some of you may be wondering what godforsaken book could have landed me in such a state. Well, it's called 'Flat-Out Love' and I have just read the whole thing in under four hours (I know, please resist the urge to scream at me to get a life. If it's any consolation, I read it on my iPad, so at least I was making some conscious effort to be hip and cool). Anyway, the book was fantastic, really. Straight away I was gripped by the characters and interested in how the plot could develop. For me, I find that quite hard to come by in modern romantic fiction. It's always the same cliche, 'they're-going-to-find-each-other' la de da de da. But, this one was different. What I loved about Jessica Park's novel was the fact that the story wasn't centred around the romantic relationships in the book, but the love of a family as well. I instantly adored the character of Celeste and I was constantly finding myself torn between Finn and Matt, something I'm not used to as I usually side with one of the characters in a book and I'm often heartbroken when I don't get the outcome I'd hoped for.
    So, the long and short of it is that I would definitely recommend this book to anyone. Now, if you don't mind, I'm just going to cry myself to sleep.